Today is full moon, looking out bright over sleepy Dar es Salaam, riding the flying clouds like the first, soaring bounds of a long journey. Will it take me along? Can I develop the heart of stone to keep on moving?
Why is it full moon today, when 20.5 years of marriage finally ended (end of RCR or restitution of conjugal rights period)? I had thought I would celebrate freedom with champagne, but tonight I feel a lump like cold stone inside me. The lyrics of “Ground Control to Major Tom” buzzing in my head. Three years of living alone taught me strength, resilience, enjoying my own company, that I like to travel and to write. And I already knew some of that. But far from sureties, I wonder if I am floating in space, sitting in a tin can, drifting slowly out – “Planet earth is blue, and there’s nothing I can do”.
What does she think tonight? Maybe the same?.
We once promised to love each other always, that’s still true, even if we can’t survive living with each other. The Bible that man would only have one wife and she would only have one man. My ex changes the world when she talks; she bore and brought up our children and shaped me: “Tell me wife I love her very much, she knows”.
But my journeys will be mine.
Wherever the moon calls, I have to seek.
I wish you only the best of everything and many more years of happiness and success.